One blogger says : “Thousands of apparently single women fought, shoved and screamed at the gates of the KICC over the weekend as they scrambled for space to hear the "apostle of marriage," Nigerian Pastor Chris Ojigbani.
As the heavens opened up, the enthusiastic women paid little attention to damage done to their hair and makeup in their attempt to outrun police who were trying to turn away the crowds from the already packed KICC plenary hall.
For several hours, business came to a standstill as police and security guards from the KICC and the Covenant Singles and Married Ministries struggled to keep the thousands of women at bay.”
There have been stories of how women fought to push their way into an already crowded KICC… Facebook updates of ‘wildebeest-like stampedes’ at KICC, Queries on whether women have become so desperate…I watched Pst. Ojigbani on NTV and wondered what doctrine he has been teaching and sometimes even laughed as many women gave testimonies of how they have started receiving numerous proposals even from strangers immediately they left the venue. In Oga land, the seminars drew even single men. It’s funny though, that these men proposed to women who had attended the same seminar. I couldn’t help but wonder whether there were some men waiting nearby to capitalize on these vulnerable women, act as the miracles.
Don’t get me wrong here; I am not saying God cannot provide for you miraculously. I would however prefer if this preacher man instead preached Isaiah 34:16 “Seek from the book of the LORD, and read: Not one of these will be missing; None will lack its mate. For His mouth has commanded, And His Spirit has gathered them.” and instead gave them hope that, even if the ‘you don’t have a hubby today, God says will won’t lack, and at His anointed time, the right man will come along. Or like Brother Paul, convince them ‘how easier it is to serve the Lord when you are single…’
I have decided to give the whole drama a totally different point of view for the sake of my Kenyan sisters. Being a woman, I want to try and identify with the women who hadflooded KICC, without sounding like a feminist.
Maybe, the men some of these women have been meeting with are not husband material. Well, that again depends on each woman’s upbringing. Maybe, the men some women have been meeting have been looking for something else, rather than a relationship that would lead to marriage. Or probably, the standards society had put on our men have gone so down, so badly for some men that some women are convinced the only way to get a man is to ‘source one from the Lord miraculously.’
Probably these are the type of guys these women are meeting and they wonder whether they can ever come across some good man:
Guy 1: Some years ago: I meet some guy through a common man friend. He calls to say hi, I won’t ask how he got my number, I am sure our friend gave it to him. I decide not to be rude, I mean, greetings do no harm. Some day, he decides since he is in the building where I work, he can pass by and say hi. I remember our friend mentioning where I work, how he however gets to know what flour to find me, I won’t ask. I talk with him for two minutes, act very busy and he has to leave. Of course, he says he’ll keep in touch. The number of ‘I was around and decided to say hi’ are getting into my nerves. He probably thinks I am loving all the attention. A few weeks later, a guy calls me, starts all manner of praises, asks if we can do coffee, then has the odesity to ask me for a ‘soft loan of 50k’, his car is stuck at the port because he is short of 50k for the 600k duty, but is sure to repay in the next week… Alarm in my head? USER!
Guy 2: I have been interacting with this guy in different forums. One Sunday, I have some errands to run early in the morning, and I end up going to a different church and I bump on him there. “Ooo, you also fellowship here too?” Later, in the month, he gets to learn I am a single mother. Am very sure in his mind he reads, “Easy prey.” because Mr. ‘Guy 2’ becomes super friendly. He is always there, asking what he can do to help, even when totally unnecessary. Oh, Karambu you need a man by your side. I ask him what makes him think I don’t have one. “You work so hard, you don’t talk about him.” Shortly, he starts making sexual advances. So I wonder, seriously, if I was looking for a ‘man to be by my side’ as he put it, would I consider him????
Guy 3: Lazy, lazybone… You wonder why his employer still keeps him. He even lives under his mother’s roof at a very ‘mature’ age coz if he doesn’t have his mum, then he must have to have a wife to do his stuff. And he actually thinks he can talk about it with women… African women have been brought up to know that their men should be hard working, and should be able to take care of himself, if he is going to take care of you.
Guy 4: Brags of how he has a child with his Ex, but he left coz he didn’t love her and she has to take care of the baby herself coz she must have trapped him. So I wonder he had been with her for 5 years; it must have taken the baby to discover he didn’t love her, right???
Guy 5: Wants to cheat on his wife with you. Now, guy 5 might make you think that all men are cheats, and unless one falls from heaven while you watch, any other man will cheat on you when you get married. Because guy 5, looks like a very decent man. People talk of him with owe. In fact, his wife’s friends are envious of her…
The above are not representative of how Kenyan men are. I want to believe they were just the black sheep among our otherwise very good men. Its a good thing I wasn’t looking when I met these fellows. Probably, if I was at that time I would have gotten desperate and considered meeting the ‘Oga’ of love and hubbies, if he came around. I would have asked him to to ask God make a man for me, and open the skies while I watch, descend gloriously, get on his knees and propose to me.
I am a strong believer in that the Lord gives at His appointed time. God has been gracious to me, at the right time, he brought the right man in my life. Human, but who knows God and treats me right... I am therefore a happy woman, and will not look forOga :)
Have a great weekend oo,
Karambu.
