God Knows Best.

I have mourned many times. Oh, yes I have!  I have cried my heart out... Almost got into depression later from pretending all is fine, I think, or from refusing to accept the reality and move on. Most of us, i believe have gone through these phases.

The death of loved ones, people who, for quite a while you could almost swear that you saw crossing the street weeks after you buried them… That interview that you didn’t pass, whereas you was so confident that the job was going to be yours… getting to the final stage and everybody seems so impressed and you walk out with a smile only to get a regret letter two weeks later, or a call ‘Head Office in Washington said we took so long to recruit and sent someone from there…’ and Alas! Instead of the big shot you thought you were to become, you are still jobless. Broken contracts… Failure in examinations you had always hoped you would swim through… failing health, God when will you ever heal me? Betrayal in friendships you thought you could always count on. Broken relationships from in which you had dedicated your whole being, putting your whole heart in – and that is how it should always be. And then suddenly, you realize it’s all gone, and you feel like the world is caving in on you.  And you mourn, you cry, and find it very difficult to move on. How can you ever trust again?

Then worry… Doubt… Fear… they start to creep in. You begin to get impatient with yourself and with God. You start to wonder if you are really of as much worth like you previously thought. Out of a broken heart, you get into bad friendships… bad habits… Or you withdraw. I mean, nothing makes sense anymore. Or your heath depresses you and you are so afraid of doing anything for fear of getting hurt or because you don’t think you have long to live anyway. Or you stop looking for challenges because you no longer think you are fit for them; you have always lost in such anyway. You almost doubt the existence of God, in whom earlier, everybody around you knew you had so much faith in.

Low moments have a way of bringing us down, just like that. I have always been a strong believer of ‘my attitude towards situations’ but I must confess that sometimes, even the strongest of us can easily come down. Beyond our attitude and positive thoughts, we must truly learn to trust in God and put our worries aside. There is hope beyond your situation. Your situation is not an end!

God says, “For all the animals of the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills…” Psalms 50:10. Remember He owns all.

Jeremiah 29:11-14: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Just like the Israelites in Captivity, His love is always moved towards you, He will perform His good word, His promises often repeated, to you. For the fulfilment of these you must pray, seek, and search. That he will hearken, and you should find him; provided, you seek him with your whole heart.

God knows best. He has His own right time for everything in our lives. We need to remember this whenever we think we have to have an answer now, and even more so when we think we have to have a certain answer. We need to pay more attention to the lights God flashes in our life. Instead of worrying and getting impatient, we should learn to listen to God. I believe we all want to listen to Him; we just don't give Him enough time to speak. In our microwave society we stand just a text message away from a friend telling us what he or she thinks we should do. If only God would come to our beck and call. If you slow down and listen to God, He will probably reveal to you why, like Esther, he has placed you where he has "for such a time as this" (Esther. 4:14, NIV).

Instead of worrying, impatience and getting self destructive, listen to the will of God. Last weekend, I was telling a friend of mine, that God probably deals with us in the same way we deal with our small children, who think that they know best. When you take away that sweet from your child because of allergies, she will feel like her rights are being violated. She will only discover that you were doing best when she is grown up enough to discover that you actually were doing that for their good. When you get your heart broken and you are busy wondering where God was in all this, probably that was not his will for your life. And maybe, if you stayed on and got into marriage, you would have ended up in a violent set-up, frustrated or maybe you just wouldn’t cope and by then, it will be too late to turn back… You just never know… Mourn about it (because it is good for your health), seek God’s will and move on. And later, you will discover that God had these wonderful plans for you concerning relationships and marriage! When He sends this Godly, responsible, hardworking, loving person your way, you look back and wonder where you had been going to earlier.

When you no longer feel relevant at your workplace, or like you are not growing, it’s probably a sure sign that you need to move. Either venture in new employment or it’s about time you became an employer. You never know! Seek God’s will about it… He knows Best!

Reasons why you should never worry

Matthew 6:27-29: Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

• Worrying is a waste of very precious time. Worrying won't help you solve a problem or bring about a solution, so why waste your time and energy on it?
• The energy that we spend worrying can be put to much better use in prayer. Replace it with prayer and it turns to trust.

• It is also destructive to us in many ways. It becomes a mental burden that can even cause us to grow physically sick. It tears you down!

So instead of worrying, trust in God, seek His will: He always knows best!

Have a worry-free week! Won’t you?

A Museum about You?

I, self confessed collector-cum-impulse buyer of scarfs and shawls, and who owns approximately ten times more khangas than my mother... Some scarfs plain and others quite colourful. Some for use and some just to see, well, most just to see (sigh!), I have no idea why i like them, but my wardrobe might just start to scare me if I put much thought into it...

So last night I was thinking, if I was the 'Karen' of my time, you know the Karen Blixen Museum? Very interesting house, with some ancient mill behind... Now, in XY years to come, they would display my house to your descendants, nothing much to see but they would still look extremely awed. At least thats what museums ought to do to them. [There would be a guide, born many years after my existence but talking as if he had been my personal 'mboch' for the longest time.] "Oh, this was her kitchen sink, and this was her blender. This was her toilet, this was her bathroom. This was her favourite couch, this was the window she liked looking through most(big lie). It was suspected that she liked watching her hubby getting home(oh, please!). She also liked to look at the hills and the clouds(really?). This broken vase, with the pieces inside was too precious for her to throw away(some truth finally.)... And this is where she kept her collection of scarfs(then they all go touching the pieces of cloth and saying how nice they are, 'ooing & cooing' at the fabrics, such rare material, they must have cost her a fortune! either without realizing its the very 'kawaida' fabric in bulk, or choosing to act so). And this is where she kept her books."

Then he would continue, "This skipping rope was bought but never used..."

Some vain & silly thought, huh? I often wonder, many years after I have left this world, hopefully at a very ripe age, what will I be remembered for? Is it what I had, owned, achieved for me? Or is it my impact on the people around me? Will they speak of how much my faith had impacted them? I pray to leave a positive yet permanent mark on those around me and those to come. Tafakari hayo(Of course in regards to yourself).

Happy midweek people!

‘Oga’ of Love and Hubbies?

Earlier in the week, most Kenyan Newspapers and Bloggers had something to say about the Nigerian ‘hubby pap!’ pastor.

One blogger says : “Thousands of apparently single women fought, shoved and screamed at the gates of the KICC over the weekend as they scrambled for space to hear the "apostle of marriage," Nigerian Pastor Chris Ojigbani.

As the heavens opened up, the enthusiastic women paid little attention to damage done to their hair and makeup in their attempt to outrun police who were trying to turn away the crowds from the already packed KICC plenary hall.

For several hours, business came to a standstill as police and security guards from the KICC and the Covenant Singles and Married Ministries struggled to keep the thousands of women at bay.”

There have been stories of how women fought to push their way into an already crowded KICC… Facebook updates of ‘wildebeest-like stampedes’ at KICC, Queries on whether women have become so desperate…I watched Pst. Ojigbani on NTV and wondered what doctrine he has been teaching and sometimes even laughed as many women gave testimonies of how they have started receiving numerous proposals even from strangers immediately they left the venue. In Oga land, the seminars drew even single men. It’s funny though, that these men proposed to women who had attended the same seminar. I couldn’t help but wonder whether there were some men waiting nearby to capitalize on these vulnerable women, act as the miracles.

Don’t get me wrong here; I am not saying God cannot provide for you miraculously. I would however prefer if this preacher man instead preached Isaiah 34:16 “Seek from the book of the LORD, and read: Not one of these will be missing; None will lack its mate. For His mouth has commanded, And His Spirit has gathered them.” and instead gave them hope that, even if the ‘you don’t have a hubby today, God says will won’t lack, and at His anointed time, the right man will come along. Or like Brother Paul, convince them ‘how easier it is to serve the Lord when you are single…’

I have decided to give the whole drama a totally different point of view for the sake of my Kenyan sisters. Being a woman, I want to try and identify with the women who hadflooded KICC, without sounding like a feminist.

Maybe, the men some of these women have been meeting with are not husband material. Well, that again depends on each woman’s upbringing. Maybe, the men some women have been meeting have been looking for something else, rather than a relationship that would lead to marriage. Or probably, the standards society had put on our men have gone so down, so badly for some men that some women are convinced the only way to get a man is to ‘source one from the Lord miraculously.’

Probably these are the type of guys these women are meeting and they wonder whether they can ever come across some good man:

Guy 1: Some years ago: I meet some guy through a common man friend. He calls to say hi, I won’t ask how he got my number, I am sure our friend gave it to him. I decide not to be rude, I mean, greetings do no harm. Some day, he decides since he is in the building where I work, he can pass by and say hi. I remember our friend mentioning where I work, how he however gets to know what flour to find me, I won’t ask. I talk with him for two minutes, act very busy and he has to leave. Of course, he says he’ll keep in touch. The number of ‘I was around and decided to say hi’ are getting into my nerves. He probably thinks I am loving all the attention. A few weeks later, a guy calls me, starts all manner of praises, asks if we can do coffee, then has the odesity to ask me for a ‘soft loan of 50k’, his car is stuck at the port because he is short of 50k for the 600k duty,  but is sure to repay in the next week… Alarm in my head? USER!

Guy 2: I have been interacting with this guy in different forums. One Sunday, I have some errands to run early in the morning, and I end up going to a different church and I bump on him there. “Ooo, you also fellowship here too?” Later, in the month, he gets to learn I am a single mother. Am very sure in his mind he  reads, “Easy prey.” because Mr. ‘Guy 2’ becomes super friendly. He is always there, asking what he can do to help, even when totally unnecessary. Oh, Karambu you need a man by your side. I ask him what makes him think I don’t have one. “You work so hard, you don’t talk about him.” Shortly, he starts making sexual advances. So I wonder, seriously, if I was looking for a ‘man to be by my side’ as he put it, would I consider him????

Guy 3: Lazy, lazybone… You wonder why his employer still keeps him. He even lives under his mother’s roof at a very ‘mature’ age coz if he doesn’t have his mum, then he must have to have a wife to do his stuff. And he actually thinks he can talk about it with women… African women have been brought up to know that their men should be hard working, and should be able to take care of himself, if he is going to take care of you.

Guy 4: Brags of how he has a child with his Ex, but he left coz he didn’t love her and she has to take care of the baby herself coz she must have trapped him. So I wonder he had been with her for 5 years; it must have taken the baby to discover he didn’t love her, right???

Guy 5: Wants to cheat on his wife with you. Now, guy 5 might make you think that all men are cheats, and unless one falls from heaven while you watch, any other man will cheat on you when you get married. Because guy 5, looks like a very decent man. People talk of him with owe. In fact, his wife’s friends are envious of her…

The above are not representative of how Kenyan men are. I want to believe they were just the black sheep among our otherwise very good men. Its a good thing I wasn’t looking when I met these fellows. Probably, if I was at that time I would have gotten desperate and considered meeting the ‘Oga’ of love and hubbies, if he came around. I would have asked him to to ask God make a man for me, and open the skies while I watch, descend gloriously, get on his knees and propose to me.

I am a strong believer in that the Lord gives at His appointed time. God has been gracious to me, at the right time, he brought the right man in my life. Human, but who knows God and treats me right...  I am therefore a happy woman, and will not look forOga :)

Have a great weekend oo,

Karambu.

WHEN YOU HURT

In one way or another, we are all hurting. Every person on earth carries his own burden of pain.

When you are deeply hurt, no person on earth can shut down the inner fears and deepest agonies. Not the best of friends can understand the battle you are going through or the wounds inflicted on you.

Is there a balm for a broken heart? Is there healing for those deep, inner hurts? Can the pieces be put back together and the heart be made even stronger?

Yes! Absolutely yes! And if not, then God's Word would be a hoax and God himself would be a liar. That cannot be!

God didn't promise you a painless way of life. He promised you "a way of escape." He promised to help you bear your pain. Strength to put you back on your feet when weakness makes you stagger.

Our loving Father said, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it"(Corinthians 10:13).

Your heavenly Father watches over you with an unwavering eye. Every move is monitored. Every tear is bottled. He identifies with your every pain. He feels every hurt. He will never allow you to drown in your tears. He will not permit your hurt to deteriorate your mind. He promises to come, right on time, to wipe away your tears and give you joy for mourning.

You have the ability to make your heart rejoice and be glad in the Lord. God's eye is on you—and he commands us to rise up and shake off all those fears causing doubt.